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Exclusive Resort ib Boglands of Ballyeffin.

Ballyeffin Beaver-Hunting Club

Author Information

SHOVE OFF YA NOSY GIT

Yiziv come here for the readin not the nosin
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Ballyeffin Beaver-Hunting Club is the Premier Beaver Hunting operation in the Ballyeffin Boglands. The main lodge is a little over 10 minutes East of Ballyeffin and is surrounded by 30,000 acres of managed bog, forest and lakes. Membership is limited to maximize privacy for your member’s private business. (We can’t have you blasting the shite out of one another now can we as effin lawsuits are a curse). Families are not welcome and we actively encourage the involvement of member’s secretaries, mistresses, and anyone else out for a good time.

Ballyeffin-Beaver Hunting Club on the Ballyeffin Boglands.

Over 20 plush, air conditioned hunting stands, all containing a hot tub and a mini bar, free wifi and big-screen tv, await you on your Ballyeffin Beaver-hunting expedition. We even have a drone service so you can have a pizza delivered. Maybe even a fresh bag of our very own aquaponic, organic weed to smoke, if you prefer, while enjoying your Ballyeffin Beaver-Hunt in the hot tub.  

For complete peace of mind, your safety, and your security we have hundreds of trail cameras, early warning systems and several emergency evacuation teams on standby in the unlikely event that your wife shows up. Our onsite sniper team, the last line of defence, ensures that the Ballyeffin Beaver-Hunting Club is the safest and most trusted provider of extra-marital luxury therapy in the World. A big claim? We can back it up with ringing endorsements from Presidents (Dem), ex Presidents (Dem), their wives (Dim), and others.

Unfortunately we are only permitted to use tranquiliser darts so please stop requesting live rounds be used.

Ballyeffin Bog is a VVVSAC (Very Very Very Special Area of Conservation). Unauthorised entry will be dealt with severely. All other entries must be actioned within the confines of the Hunting Stands.

Membership: FULL

Contact Us if you want action, fun and attention for your member. Various methods of entry for member’s members are available.

Trust Us:

We guarantee not to use any footage, live or recorded, to blackmail you, or influence you excessively, or press for political favours regarding planning, law changes or anything else that may benefit the Ballyeffin Beaver-Hunting Club. We promise, promise, promise.

Quotes from past Hunters:

I love the smell of (Bally)effin in the morning. (Colonel)

Best damn hunting club ever. I can’t get enough. Wahdayathink Marilyn? (Jack)

I did not have sexual intercourse with that woman. (Bill)

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Independent Fact Check

Independent Fact Check

I, Jane Roweled-Doh, acting as an Impartial and Independent Fact Checker, and on the payroll of the Ballyboondock Guardian - A sworn mortal enemy of The Ballyeffin Beacon, label this tripe as Mostly Fake News, and 100% Fake News.

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you look Sensitive! Snowflake????

Offended Easily?