???Survivor David Le Hoggstein apparently launched a new pillow company to compete with the Wildly Successful pillow company ‘My Pillow’ after a ‘My Pillow’ pillow rejected his creepy advances (some pillows have morals, and standards). David Le Hoggstein’s new ‘Pillow Biter’ pillow company is purportedly aimed at the nearly 50% of the population that did not vote for the most Successful President in Modern History. The new ‘Pillow Biter’ pillow will be a pre-consenting pillow so you will be able to do with it whatever you wish without having to ask permission. This market is aimed at the left-leaning Irresistible Impulse Insanity Defense people (that is f#@ken real, mate).
Those imaginary voters will have no buying power (they don’t exist). So, unless the Federal Government puts up the finances, or other idiots do, to fund the purchase of the ‘Pillow Biter’ pillows there will be none sold. The other market ‘Pillow Biter’ pillows could potentially aim for is the illegal immigrant market, or the ‘Preferred Biden Citizen’ market, if I may.
If ‘Pillow Biter’ pillows sells its pillows to the US Border Agency then that will be a guaranteed market. I envisage another run on the ‘PillowBiter’ pillows from the ‘Soy Boy’ market. Let’s all wait and see. What flavours will there be, I do wonder? Or Brand Names? Kapok Kruncher? Dirt Packer? Downy Butt? What do you think? Pillow Biters are Rejoicing at this very moment.