Breaking News
A Major Embarrassment occurred During the opening ceremony of Ballyeffin’s newest Theme Park today as President Michael D Higgins was barred from the rollercoaster at Cheese Puff Park because he did not meet the minimum height requirement.
Outrage
Officials are Outraged at how this was allowed to happen. Those in charge of the Prior Planning and Preparation obviously failed to Prevent a Piss Poor Performance. The 7 P’s rule was not followed said a nameless, faceless official. A plan of actions to attempt a distraction was dreamed up instantly and implemented with great efficiency; a complete contrast to how actual important political and social issues are usually dealt with.
Action One
President Higgins was plamaused and cajoled, then was allowed his long held wish as an attempt to placate him. No one person dared to rile him up any more than he already was. He then, and to his immense delight, got to meet the beautiful Snow White. It was a dream he had never though would ever come true. President Higgins was beaming when allowed to join in the procession dressed as Doc, the only one of the dwarfs to wear glasses (so presumably the most intellectual). It was all perfect, apparently.
Action Two
As well as the procession, the President got to fill-in as Mickey Mouse at the park entrance. He stood as everyone looked on in awe. The adulation from the admiring populace seemed to make him grow in stature said local, Larry, as Larry stood, spade in hand, watching the goings on. President Higgins, revved up with excitement, burst into a rousing rendition of his greatest poems. There was a flurry of people suddenly remembering they had to be somewhere else, all looking at their left arms, then realising they don’t wear watches anymore and ‘Oh, look at the time’ was heard reverberating throughout the quickly thinning crowd.
All is Well
News just in. The President is delighted with himself. He is knocking back pints at the Ballyeffin Inn. A giant sigh of relief has been heard across the Boglands of Ireland. Good luck to the Flagship BogDisney Enterprise in Ballyeffin, Cheese Puff Park.
Have you been there yet?
Were you there when it all happened?
Could you see the President?
